Do you ever have an overwhelming sense that you should be doing something? Like maybe something's about to happen or you're on the verge of something exciting? I'm not sure what it is, but it drives me crazy. I am completely unable to sit and do nothing. My brain hurts from all the info floating around in there, yet I can't seem to sit down, relax and slow it all down. I think about work; I think about mini-man; I think about my future; I wonder if I should get a new job; I look for new jobs; I browse Facebook; I have something to eat; I read a page in a book; I check my email; I check the listings channel on the TV; I check my work email; I look at my google analytics account... for WORK! How sad is that?! I can't stop...
When I do nothing I feel like I'm wasting my life, but when I'm busy I feel like I'm missing my life. Am I crazy? ... Really. Is this what it's like to be rubber-room, straight jacket crazy? Am I ruining my kid with my neuroses? I'm busy all the time, but when I'm not busy I find something to do that means absolutely nothing yet takes up loads of time. I'm supposed to call my sister tonight, but haven't done it yet, I'm getting tired (it's only 8:15?!) and I'm thinking of just curling up in bed with a book knowing full well I'll read a paragraph and nod off.
I feel like I've finally (after only 2 years lol) figured out how to be a mom, but now I have to figure out how to be me again. Where am I? Who am I?
Well, as a random share, here's a picture from where I work. My band played on the mountain on Saturday... it definitely doesn't suck to be me, despite the whining...
2 comments:
Hey - that feeling you've got? It's called ADHD!
Seriously though, I've had that feeling before and I fight it every time I get it. I'm convinced all of the distractions we have (cell phone, computers, internet, TV, blah blah etc.) have just driven us to distraction.
It's so hard to concentrate at times!
So true! I think I need a week away from technology altogether. I may have to rent a little cabin on a lake somewhere - one that has no electricity and no cellular signal.
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